“I’m hurting too” Has your partner said this to you and you didn’t hear it?
Isn’t it amazing how blinding pain can be? And how self absorbing it is?
This week, my guest from last week, Jen Price, returns with a story about the second time in her long marriage that pain threatened the connection she had with her husband:
- Jen talks about the identity crisis she endured when she dropped her youngest off at college and how her crisis impacted her marriage
- Jen explains why it’s easier to blame than accept responsibility for ourselves and the impact this has on your relationship
- Finally, Jen gently normalizes why we are sometimes unable to see how much our partner is hurting, because our own pain is overwhelming us… and what helps
The “empty nest”
There are two seasons of life I get the most clients coming to my coaching practice: one is when a couple has a kiddo age 2-4 years old. This is a pivotal time in the life of a couple. The other season is about a year or 2 after the children leave.
There is often a real shake up in the life of a couple whose lives have revolved around their children for so many years. When the children grow up and leave the nest to pursue lives of their own, one or both parents can face a deep loss of identity.
You orient your days and weeks around the needs of your children. Much of your connection as a couple revolves around the joys and needs of their children.
How, now that your kids are grown and gone, do you find a new orientation? Not just to how do you relate to each other, but how do you relate to the larger world? What identities are lost? What identities can be found?
How does crossing that bridge—from family to couple—happen? In this episode, Jen opens her heart completely for you to see her journey.
I got so much out of this conversation. I hope you will too.
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How to heal the wounds pain causes in your relationship
Jen talks about taking responsibility for her own pain. This felt fairly radical to me because it’s not Jen’s fault that she had a congenital issue in her hip that meant she needed hours of surgery and pins and screws to help relieve her chronic pain.
But as she said last week, her pain caused unintended wounds in her relationships. Who else was going to heal those wounds?
Today, you’ll hear her husband say, “I’m hurting too,” and how that became a seedling that grew in Jen’s heart; slowly creating compassion and capacity for her to see beyond her own pain.
Date Night Discussion
This week, I invite you and your partner to borrow Jen’s husband’s phrase, “I’m hurting too.”
Here’s and example:
Although you can hear that Jen regrets that she wasn’t more sensitive to her husband’s struggle, can you also hear the gentleness she has with herself? Pain blinded her to her husband’s pain.
When she began to let the seedling of his phrase, “I’m hurting too,” penetrate her psyche, she had a larger perspective. She saw her own actions differently.
If you want a long and intimate marriage, you will go through seasons of life when your pain is so great that you can’t see how your partner is suffering.
These seasons cause wounds.
But when you can heal the wounds with words like I used, or Jen used, you will taste a truly deep intimacy in your relationship. A bond of forgiveness and renewal. Of promise and resilience.
This is my hope for your relationship today. That you will be able to repair the past, by seeing with new perspective today.
Connect with Jen Price
Jennette Price (Jen) is a wellness educator, yoga and fitness professional, and adjunct professor at Colorado Mesa University. With over 24 years of experience in the fitness industry, she has taught a wide range of classes including yoga, Pilates, indoor cycling, and strength training—always weaving in mindfulness, breathwork, and whole-person wellness.
Jennette is passionate about empowering others through movement and education. She openly shares her journey through chronic pain and recovery after hip surgery, offering insight into resilience, self-awareness, and healing. A devoted wife, mother, and community volunteer, Jennette is committed to serving others and creating spaces where people feel seen, supported, and inspired to grow.
Follow her on Instagram: @thewellnesscollective.jennette
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