What Happens to Your Relationship When Your Partner Takes a Moonshot with Laverne McKinnon

What happens to your relationship when you or your partner attempt a moonshot?

A moonshot—by definition—is a reach. It will ask more of you than you feel you can give. Your moonshot will stretch you, and, just when you think you’re completely laid out flat, your moonshot will ask for…you guessed it…more. This MORE can be stressful. And we know what stress does to your relationship.

Today, Laverne McKinnon is returning to the podcast to help you discern between all the stressors a moonshot can bring into your life:

Laverne will give you practical tools for negotiation when you face the relationship stress of a moonshot
She’ll guide you with her 7 steps
And help you distinguish between the three voices that are likely to show up in your head

A gremlin, a bear hug, and your intuition walk into your brain. Sounds like the beginning of a bad bar joke, right? But instead, it’s a helpful distinction for the voices your brain can serve up when you’re going through something big: like chasing your own moonshot, or supporting your partner with their moonshot.

I know you. You want your life to be meaningful. You have big dreams for your life and for the love you and your partner are fostering.

But a moonshot doesn’t have to be flying to the moon. Your moonshot might be located right on the inside of your front door where you dream of making your step-son feel loved. So loved that he knows what it feels like to be chosen, nurtured, and worthy.

Or maybe your moonshot is about creating dignity for people who live unhoused. Your dream is to restore these people’s humanity in the most mundane spaces like making sure they have access to the privacy of a toilet.

The value of a moonshot

You want your life to mean something. This is a fundamental element of being human. A moonshot brings clarity to your life because it focuses your values.

We don’t have endless time or energy. When you find your moonshot, you gain clarity about how you want to spend those valuable resources.

Focus.

Focus is magnetic and sexy. Have you ever noticed how drawn your partner is to you when you are living in alignment with your moonshot?

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Laverne’s steps to shoot the moon

Identify something that breaks your heart
Answer the call and imagine how you’d meet it
Identify the first—teeny tiny—step
Check your motivation
Decide when you’ll walk away
Expect—and plan for—setbacks
Become the person your moonshot will ask you to be

Listen to her podcast outlining these steps here.

The reason I love the work Laverne is doing in the world is all this dreaming she does is firmly grounded in her work surrounding disenfranchised grief. Laverne didn’t shrink from chasing her dreams. She also experienced deep grief when those dreams were dashed.

But she leaned IN.

And the wisdom she has gained as a result is GOLD for your life and for your relationship.

The gremlin, the bear hug, and your intuition

These are the three voices you hear in your head. Want to be able to get clarity about which voice is which?

The gremlin is mean to you and full of doubts; it will haunt you with imposter syndrome and more
Hugging the bear is your ability to search for data and stay anchored to reality even as you attempt to defy gravity
Your intuition is that still, small voice (that might not even talk in sentences) that has no fear; only clarity

When your partner has had a rough day and is paralyzed with doubt, you can draw upon Laverne’s knowledge of that crazy gremlin voice. Likewise, however, if your partner is blinded by data point after data point that this moonshot is doomed, you can help your partner have the courage to hug the bear and face some painful realities: even grieve the loss of this dream.

Connect with Laverne McKinnon

Laverne McKinnon has been a film and television producer, as well as a senior executive in Hollywood at CBS and EPIX. These days she’s on the faculty at Northwestern University and is a Career Strategist and Grief Coach. She leads an ongoing group program called Solid Ground for people who are navigating a disruption or upset at work.