“Why don’t you ever initiate sex?!” vs cuddling up and kissing your partner’s back. Which do you typically choose?
Do you hide your heart in the precise moment you want to be loved? Or are you willing to disclose that super tender underbelly?
Today we look at why it’s tempting to hide behind Protective Defensive Maneuvers (PDM’s) because when you start with compassion, change is easier.
-
- You’ll understand why you resort to PDM’s and understanding helps you forgive yourself and begin again differently.
- We’ll find some fun PDM turn-arounds like Presenting the Deeper Me.
- And we’ll reach into the archives for a very sly PDM (the protective kind) that might be part of your everyday language.
Subscribe to my Newsletter:
When you begin your self-exploration with self-forgiveness and a curiosity about why you do what you do, you can understand why your behavior makes sense.
Until it doesn’t, right? And your partner feels shoved away when your Protective Defensive Maneuver sounds like, “Why don’t you ever initiate sex?!”
Then we turn it around.
Instead of protection, what else can PDM stand for?
- Permission to Drop the Mask
- Pause. Disarm. Move-toward
- Presenting the Deeper Me
When you understand your own protection strategies, you can see yourself earlier and earlier in a conflict. Recognition allows you the gentleness to pause.
That’s when you have a chance to make a different choice.
Want to stop arguing and start connecting with your spouse? This FREE e-course will offer you habits to improve your marriage communication so you can smile more and fight less. Sign up to improve marriage communication.
