Skip to main content

Have you ever felt so tired you didn’t know what you needed? Rest is good for your relationship.

In this episode, we’ll break down rest into 3 categories so you know how to treat yourself when you’re exhausted. Because not every kind of tired is the same:

  • You’ll discover how exhaustion is wounding your relationship and why it’s critical to your happily ever after to learn how to give yourself the rest you need.
  • You’ll understand why your dreams are dependent on rest as much as hard work
  • You’ll get practical tips for diagnosing not only the type of rest you need, but the specific sort of rest that rejuvenates you and launches you into a life filled with love and happiness.


If you’d prefer to read a transcript of this episode, click here.

The rest of rejuvenation is an energy factory for your life

Here’s my energy formula: recovery + restore + rejuvenate = Energy. TONS of energy.

Let’s define the 3 types of rest:

  • Recovery rest = Rest to recover from exhaustion. Recovery rest seems to make you more tired at first, because you’re rest starved. Your body collapses: Finally! your body says, and it falls deeply into the rest it’s been craving. Think of recovery rest as a wakeful way to sleep.
  • Restorative rest = Restoration rest helps you regularly synthesize the past and prepare for the future. This of restorative rest like it’s your resupply house for life.
  • Rejuvenating rest = Rest to launch. Rejuvenation rest catapults you back to your life with energy to leap forward.

Do you resist rest as much as my clients do? Does it feel like a waste of time to you to rest?

If so, you’re limiting yourself.

Subscribe to my Newsletter: 

The first and most basic way to rest is Recovery

When your legs feel like cement and your get-up-and-go is gone, you need to recover before you can restore or rejuvenate.

You just need to vegetate and feel your breath go in. And out.
If rest is a regular part of your energy cycle, your gas tank fills quickly.

Notice the times you’re most likely to suffer exhaustion.

Identify several ways to guarantee yourself deep rest so you can recover from being empty.

Here’s some ideas that soothe when you need recovery rest:

  • Sleep/nap/doze: a normal night of sleep isn’t enough when you’re below empty. Let yourself lay still and fall in and out of awareness.
  • Television/podcasts: listen to someone else tell you a story, so you can just receive
  • Sun/bath/blanket: indulge in sensory pleasures that smell good, or feel soft on your skin

Think of yourself like you’re a toddler who needs help and attention in order to rest well.

The second kind of rest: Rest that Restores

Think of restoration like you’re headed to The-Store-For-Your-Life. That’s where you get to resupply with everything you most need.

You’ll know you’re restored when you can easily:

  • Care for your body, eating healthy food and getting exercise
  • Face your upcoming calendar with anticipation rather than dread
  • Enjoy down time without feeling agitation or fear

Restoration helps you reflect on how life’s going and prepare for what’s coming up. Restoration synthesizes the past and supports the future.


Here’s some ideas to help you restore:

  • Replenish: Do you know the Buddhist phrase chop wood, carry water? It takes wood to heat your meal. It takes water to hydrate your body. Each of these run out and need to be replenished. What are the things that keep you healthy, but you use them up? These are the things that need to be replenished so you can go again.
  • Sort: The act of sorting your sock drawer or untangling your fishing lures to put them away isn’t just so the stuff can get put away. When you sort things physically, you’re also soothing your mind. As you sort your stuff, you’re turning chaos into calm. This process is restorative.
  • Make: Whether you need to make a meal or sew a quilt to spruce up your bedroom, making things is restorative. When I was a little kid and I was sad, my dad would always encourage me to make something with my hands. I don’t know if it’s the power of creativity or the turning nothing into something, but making things is sure to restore me to a better frame of mind and give me energy.

Notice how all these things that are restorative also take some energy. That’s why you might need to recover before you can restore. But when you skip restorative rest, you’re headed into the new week or era of your life without fortifications.

Rejuvenation catapults you into the life of your dreams.

The third kind of rest is rejuvenation. Rejuvenation is an energy exchange: you need energy to chase after it, but it returns energy tenfold.

If you regularly feed yourself rejuvenation your life will light you up. You can expect the following:

  • Excitement:  You’ll be engaged instead of bored.
  • Increased Imagination: Because when you feed your imagination it grows exponentially.
  • Follow through:  Joy creates energy. When you feed your joy, you’ll notice that tasks that seemed monumental get done in a snap.

Try this: 

Notice what kind of rest you need.

Give yourself that rest.

Keep giving yourself that rest until you’re ready to upgrade your level of rest.

Choose the right kind of rest for you

The only wrong way to rest is to force yourself to rest according to someone else’s rule.

Rest is personal, seasonal, and stage-of-life-specific. Give yourself lots of choices and pick the kind of rest—recovery, restorative, or rejuvenating—that feeds your need.

Date Night Discussion

This week, talk with your partner about these 3 types of rest.

What kind of recovery rest do you each value? What feels restorative to you? How about your partner?

Finally, talk about what rejuvenates you.

You can read the full date night discussion here.

How about you?

I want to be included in your life. Text me at 970-210-4480 and tell me about the different kinds of rest in your life.

Did you have an aha about rest? How do you and your partner compare when it comes to the different types of rest?

Click here to read the full text of this podcast episode.

Want to stop arguing and start connecting with your spouse? This FREE e-course will offer you habits to improve your marriage communication so you can smile more and fight less. Sign up to improve marriage communication.

Sign Up to Improve Marriage Communication

Leave a Reply