A cognitive distortion is your brain’s way of bending reality to protect you. The problem is those cognitive distortions often leave your relationship terribly wounded. Do you ever use your resentment (or your doubt, or your fear) to write the history of your relationship? Two weeks ago, I told you…

Do you have a place where you rehearse how dreadful your partner is? For me it was the kitchen sink. I stood at that sink and this was my litany while I washed dishes. “Here I am. Alone again. Cinderella. I’m the only one who cleans this kitchen.” We all…

Vacations are meant to be relaxing and fun, so why do they sometimes cause conflict? Or why do you sometimes come home feeling empty? It takes intention to dream, plan, and play on your vacation. Here’s a three-part series to help you become better Friends, better Partners, and better Lovers…

Vacations are meant to be relaxing and fun, so why do they sometimes cause conflict? Or why do you sometimes come home feeling empty? It takes intention to dream, plan, and play on your vacation. Here’s a three-part series to help you become better Friends, better Partners, and better Lovers…

Vacations are meant to be relaxing and fun, so why do they sometimes cause conflict? Or why do you sometimes come home feeling empty? It takes intention to dream, plan, and play on your vacation. Here’s a three-part series to help you become better Friends, better Partners, and better Lovers…

Fun has different flavors. In The Cat in the Hat, Dr. Seuss says, “It’s fun to have fun, but you have to know how.” Nothing kills a fun time faster than someone who doesn’t really want to be there. When you know what’s fun for you, you can titrate the…

You’re seduced by either/or thinking because it’s simple. But it’s costing you intimacy. Here are a couple examples of either/or thinking: Either we take our vacation to the beach and we’re finally able to relax, or we take an exciting mountain trek we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.…

Relationship hack: ask better questions to get more connection with your partner. Because when your brain is regularly inundated with information, it uses selective attention to filter out the noise. The problem is, that unconscious (but scientifically beneficial) selective attention might unwittingly filter out the intimacy you crave.   What…