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You want to feel like you have a teammate in your relationship.

Is it hard for you and your partner to share chores in your home? How does that impact your relationship?

In today’s episode I introduce you to my relationship framework: Partner, friend & lover.

In this episode we’ll discuss the role of partner in your relationship:

  • We’ll talk about why it’s hard to get your sweetheart to get stuff done.
  • And I’ll give you a date night discussion prompt that helps you notice how and when you and your partner help each other in your relationship.

Partners want to achieve together. Friends want to relax together. Lovers want to explore together.

When we’re both playing the same role—partner, lover, or friend—it’s easy to connect with our sweetheart. But we’re not always approaching things in the same role, right?

Three roles. One relationship.

You’ll hear a story about why building a garden bed can be a very different activity depending on whether you’re in partner-mode, friend-mode, or lover-mode. And how not being in the same role at the same time causes problems for your relationship.

We’ll talk about why being in the same role at the same time makes it easier to connect in your relationship. But that doesn’t always happen, right?

Big pressures in life = big strains on your relationship

You’ll hear the story of how I put my husband through school when we had two little kids. At first I thrived with the goals and the projects. But time wore me down, and the projects lost their allure.

We’ll discuss how partners drive the engine in a relationship and why it’s so critical to give your partner a break (or to take a break yourself) for the sake of your relationship health.

What happened when my mother died and my husband still faced pressures at school, and bills needed to get paid?

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s Habit for Your Happily Ever After is to ponder. Taking time to think and reflect about your relationship is foundational to building strong habits.

This week, think about times in your relationship when you’ve been in partner mode.

Think about times your spouse has been in partner mode.

Do you connect well as partners? Or is that relationship a struggle for you like it was for my husband and me?

Don’t worry about taking any action to change how you relate as partners. We’ll get to that. For now, let it be enough to notice how you relate naturally. And remember, it’s most kind to notice without judging. I know that’s hard to do, but it’s also key to growing intimacy.

While you’re developing habits for your happily ever after, consider taking my class, Marriage 101.

Date Night Discussion

I’m a coach, which means I’m very practical. I hope my story gave you a tiny new way to look at your relationship and to name how you and your sweetheart are learning how to be partners in life. but you don’t need to have some big dedicated time.

Let it be low key. While you’re doing something mundane like unloading the groceries from the car, simply ask your sweetheart one or more of the following:

  • What do you think we do best as partners or teammates?
  • When do you feel like I help you?
  • When do you enjoy helping me?
  • What do you think is our strongest suit when it comes to accomplishing a project together?

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You want to have a marriage filled with trust: a home base where you feel safe showing up exactly as you are. You want a partner who will build a life with you: sharing the work load and life’s celebrations. And you want passion: sex that is exciting and also tender. Sign up to secure your marriage.

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Rebecca S. Mullen
PO Box 346
Mesa, CO 81643