Episode #6 Sharing Secrets in Your Relationship: Is Your Spouse a Good Friend?

Does your spouse tell you their secrets?

Your relationship will be filled with trust if you can share stories, but you might be alienating your spouse unintentionally.

In your relationship is there time to just hang out? Or are you always busy?

If you and your spouse only talk about the details of life and plans and more details, you’re killing the friendship in your relationship.

In this episode we’ll discuss the role of friend in your relationship:

• We’ll talk about why companionship builds trust between you and your sweetheart
• And I’ll give you a date night discussion prompt to make it easier to spot the ways you and your sweetheart are good companions.

Friends want to relax together. Partners want to achieve together. Lovers want to explore together.

When we’re both playing the same role—partner, lover, or friend—it’s easy to connect in your relationship. But you and your spouse are not always approaching things in the same role, right?

Poor listening in your relationship = an erosion of trust

You’ll hear a story about when I was a lousy friend to my husband. Instead of listening to build his trust, I was listening to fix his problem. As a result, he got more frustrated and lonelier than if he’d said nothing at all.

How would you feel if your spouse stopped telling you their stories and including you in the details of their daily life?

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

You’ll hear how poor listening became a habit in my relationship. With that bad habit, we grew further and further apart.

Obviously, we got that figured out and fixed, but not before it did damage to our relationship.

To help you connect as friends inside your relationship, this week’s habit for your happily ever after is to notice your ability to listen to your spouse without trying to fix the situation.

• When do you listen to your spouse simply to comfort them?
• When do you listen in order to “fix” what they’re struggling with?

While you’re developing habits for your happily ever after, consider taking my class, Marriage 101.

Date Night Discussion

Allow connecting to be low key, so the questions don’t feel loaded.  Here’s my questions for this week:

• When do you feel like I’m being a good friend to you?
• When have you felt really understood by me?
• When are we best at just hanging out and not having an agenda?

Hearing the answer to these questions will help you provide more comfort to each other.

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