Who do you treat the worst when you’ve had a tough day?
If you’re like most people, relationship conflict happens when the person you love the most gets the worst of your bad mood. You’ll learn why this is romantic.
In this episode you’ll learn the source of relationship conflict shrapnel
- We’ll discuss why the shrapnel of relationship stress is romantic.
- You’ll get a date night discussion prompt to remind you how your partner comforts you.
- And you’ll get a habit that will lessen stress-shrapnel in your relationship.
Stories for your relationship
You’ll identify how you treat your partner when you’re deep in your panic-zone.
Most people have a different style from their partner when it comes to how to handle stress. You’ll learn how to identify your partner’s stress response and why you’ve been taking that personally in the past.
You’ll also hear how you can keep your relationship safe during those times when you don’t feel safe?
Relationship Date Night Discussion
This week’s date night discussion is designed to calm your brain before you attempt this week’s habit of finding strategies to manage your relationship’s panic-zone-behavior.
Have a discussion about comfort and comfortable times, and comfort zones before you go investigating your panic-zone behavior.
Why? Because when you recall times you’ve been comfortable, your brain gets washed with calming chemicals. Even pondering panicked moments can get your brain in a space of fight or flight.
This intentional calming is a strategy when it comes to creating habits. You want to create habits from a place of resourcefulness, not desperation.
When you and your sweetheart talk about all the ways you relate well in your comfort-zone, you feel connected. You appreciate each other. And that makes you feel more generous.
Here’s the questions for this week:
· Recall a favorite time when you and your sweetheart felt comfortable and at ease.
· How do you treat each other? Specifically, how do you treat your sweetheart?
· What do you notice about the way your sweetheart treats you?
As you’re remembering these moments, remember specifically how it feels in your body. Where do you notice your relaxation? Does it feel like a bubbly excited feeling in your tummy? Or is it more like a calm warmth on your skin? How does the comfort of your sweetheart FEEL inside of you?
Habit for Your Happily Ever After
This week’s habit is to recognize your panic-zone-response and to give your sweetheart a strategy that would comfort you.
Remember a time you felt deeply panicked, but instead of feeling it in your body, just watch the moment unfold on a big pretend movie screen on your wall. Watch how you behave. How do you treat people?
During this exercise, allow yourself to notice how you turn off to comfort and imagine what would help to thaw that freeze response you have.
The point of this week’s habit is just to become aware of how you reject comfort. If you truly notice your own rejection of comfort, it will be more difficult to reject it the next time.
What is your panic-response and how does it impact your relationship?
I would love to know what your panic-response is. I’d also like to know what might bring you comfort when you’re panicked. Please text me at 970-210-4480 and write: My panic response is…then tell me about you. Because I love to be included in your relationship.
How does your panic response compare to the Pink Panther?
Want to stop arguing and start connecting with your spouse? This FREE e-course will offer you habits to improve your marriage communication so you can smile more and fight less. Sign up to improve marriage communication.Sign Up to Improve Marriage Communication