How do you know if you’re making the right decisions and choices as a parent? And how do you deal with decision fatigue in a way that is supportive—instead of destructive—to your relationship?
Parenting is confusing. There’s a million decisions every day:
- Where’s the magic spot between healthy food and the food my child will eat?
- How do I make sense of all the contradictions in the world of parenting advice?
- I want to keep my child safe, but I also want my child to experience the world
You’re tired. You’re overwhelmed. You just want answers.
Sometimes the hardest thing to hear is the quiet voice inside — the one that actually knows what to do. Today, I’m sharing three types of people who can threaten your parenting intuition— and how to handle the threat and return to trust. Because trust is the basis of intimacy.
The three types of people who threaten your ability to hear your own parenting intuition are:
- People who love you and want to help you, believe it or not, can threaten your ability to hear your own parenting intuition
- Experts we consult voraciously in our community, in books, and on social media can threaten your ability to hear your own parenting intuition
- And, finally, your own fear is the third voice that threatens your ability to hear your parenting intuition
How can the people who love you threaten your parenting intuition?
Let’s start with the number one type of person who threatens your ability to hear your parenting intuition: people who love you. When it comes to people who love you, you might feel a tension between their concern for you and the truth you feel in your body.
Honoring your own values is the best way to be a parent to your child. But, when you choose to value something different than the people who love you, you might get confused. That confusion is born of love for the people who disagree with you.
In these moments listening to your own parenting intuition is brave. It’s not failure, although the confusion you feel might feel like failure.
These moments are where you are shaping your unique parenting intuition.
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Experts threaten your parenting intuition
Let’s move on to the second type of person who threatens your ability to hear your parenting intuition: the sea of experts. Here the tension is about knowing nothing and trying to know everything.
When we become parents, so much is new. We feel humbled by that — and that humility is beautiful.
But for many of us, it drives a scramble for answers. We turn to books, blogs, courses, experts. And while they can offer wisdom, they can also drown out something quieter: your own voice.
When you stop looking for the best answer, you start to find your answer. That’s where doubt is replaced by your ability to hear your own parenting intuition beating. Louder and louder.
Why your fear threatens your parenting intuition
OK. Finally, let’s tackle the last type of person who threatens your ability to hear your parenting intuition: your own fear. Here the tension is between protecting your child and empowering your child.
Parenting is high-stakes because love runs so deep. When you love a child that much, you want to get it right. You want to protect them — sometimes from the world, sometimes from the pain you knew too well.
It takes practice to move from protection to trust. But again — that’s where your values get formed. That’s how you become the parent you’re trying to be.
When you can embrace that the tension you feel is actually your parenthood heart taking shape, the struggle is easier to endure.
Date Night Discussion
This week I invite you to talk with your partner about something specific that causes you angst. Where do you wonder if you’re “getting it right? Getting it wrong?”
How is this place of wondering a place to polish your loving heart? How is your lack of clarity causing you to wrestle with your values?
Here’s an example:
I used to think parenting was about getting it right from the start. Like if I just decided what kind of parent I wanted to be, I’d execute the plan and raise good humans.
For example, I had a million traditions when we started our family. I believed those traditions would create belonging — that they would anchor my kids in meaning and memory.
But over time, I realized I was drowning in too many searches for meaning. And my children didn’t always feel more connected — they felt pressured to feel something.
That’s when I learned something huge: intimacy is sometimes forged not in the spectacular moments but in the plain, unremarkable ones.
Shared pancakes. Folding laundry while watching television.
I had to get it ‘wrong’ to learn what was right for us.
And that’s how your parenting intuition is born — not in a flash of clarity, but in a long, slow, sacred conversation with life.
Try this:
Today we talked about 3 voices that are likely to drown out your own, unique parenting voice.
Now, I’ll invite you into this week’s habit for your happily ever after:
Step into the tension, and trust that it’s shaping something good.
How about you?
As always, I love to know what it’s like at your home, in your relationships. Send me a text at 970-210-4480 and tell me about your parenting intuition. And how you’re learning to listen.
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