Do you ever wonder why, even when your partner treats you tenderly, that you still feel empty? Or invisible?
Shame steals the love you are able to feel. Shame steals that love before it’s able to land in your heart, because you feel unworthy. You simply can’t receive love even when it is abundant around you.
If you’ve felt this way, I want you to meet psychotherapist and author, Dr. Zoe Shaw. Today, we bring you a revealing conversation about shame:
- We’ll talk about her new book, Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame.
- She’ll explain how and why shame gets woven into our identity so tightly that we can’t feel the love waiting for us in all kinds of places.
- And I reveal the moment my husband discovered my shame, and how it changed the character of our marriage.
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What hidden shame are you carrying?
For years of my marriage, I felt “less than,” and, consequently, couldn’t feel my husband’s love. He was kind and tender. But I felt lonely and abandoned.
My shame was like a locked door. It wound itself around my identity so completely that I didn’t know who I truly was.
But when my *heinous crime* was exposed, I felt the sun that was pouring in the upstairs window of our bedroom. I saw the gentleness in my husband’s eyes, even as I wanted to look away, and hide my face.
Listen to the podcast to discover the moment my shame was (involuntarily!) removed, and you’ll feel the moment I began to receive all the love my husband was holding for me.
Try this:
For this week’s habit for your happily ever after, I demonstrate how I found and connected to my own shame while reading Zoe’s book.
Freedom from shame
Dr. Zoe’s book (and this conversation) will help you see how shame has woven its way into your very identity without your consent.
And the book will help you unwind, so you can begin the gorgeous healing journey of self-acceptance.
Plus, the book is a page turner. You will find yourself in Zoe’s stories; not the exact circumstances, perhaps, but in the way she talks to herself. I’ve heard so many of you talk the same way about yourselves.
Date Night Discussion
This week, you can take a page from Zoe’s book, Stronger in the Difficult Places, to have a discussion with yourself that will heal your relationship.
Dr. Zoe invites you to have a regular meeting with yourself. She calls it therapy without the therapist. She has 11 (my favorite number) questions for you to ponder. Here’s 4 of my favorites:
- How have I disconnected (from my partner) this week because of my shame?
- How can I connect in a healthy way instead?
- How can I acknowledge my part in this?
- How can I forgive myself for my shortcomings?
Connect with Dr. Zoe Shaw
In this episode you heard from psychotherapist, author, speaker, and media contributor Dr. Zoe Shaw. Dr Zoe is a relationship expert who specializes in the subject of complex shame and codependency. On her podcast, Stronger in the Difficult Places, her guiding premise is: “We’re not fixing them, we’re fixing you, and that changes everything.”
Want to hear more from Dr. Zoe? I encourage you to read her book, Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame.
Social Media Handles
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drzoeshaw/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrZoeShaw/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.zoeshawtalks/videos
Pinterest: https://in.pinterest.com/drzoeshaw/
Free Resources
Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™: https://dr-zoe-shaw-enterprises.kit.com/7247f0bc86
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: https://dr-zoe-shaw-enterprises.kit.com/a8adebb5af
Want to stop arguing and start connecting with your spouse? This FREE e-course will offer you habits to improve your marriage communication so you can smile more and fight less. Sign up to improve marriage communication.
