Have you ever hid your joy because, if you let the world see that you’re happy, no one will believe how hard you’re working as a parent? In your career?
You can hear everyone around you suffering from mom-guilt, and you just don’t buy in. Of course you’re overwhelmed at times, but you aren’t afraid to take time for your own self-care. You wish other women would do the same.
Today’s guest is for you. Lindsey Davis sits on 3 national-level boards, and she adores her job. She knows her daughter is watching, and that’s just one more reason to celebrate her career and fall in love with her new bike.
Let go of mom-guilt
When her three months of maternity leave were over and other moms were apologizing that Lindsey was returning to work, Lindsey felt a pushback inside herself. I love my job, she’d say. And my work is a critical part of who I want to be as a model for my daughter.
A core value for Lindsey when it comes to work-life balance is to embrace her professional desires and the difference she’s making in the world. She’s ambitious professionally and proud of her work.
Her decision to hire full-time childcare and provide a separate space for professional vs. parent versions of herself helps her be fully present in her daughter’s life. This aligns with Lindsey’s core values as a parent, but it does have a downside: she’s a little bit sick all the time due to all the day-care germs.
Lindsey used a term–taxingly female–to describe my experience as a mother. Both of us found it difficult to “tune out” when we hear our babies cry. That made working from home–even with a nanny–a challenge. So she found it helpful to pay for a spot at a co-working space.
Embrace mom-joy
Because she isn’t motivated by mom-guilt, Lindsey paid attention when she noticed resentment creeping in at the edges.
The other word she introduced me to was “daylighting.” She talked about daylighting the invisible work that goes with parenting. During the first year of her daughter’s life, she was the primary parent and instituted a number of systems that help to maintain her care.
When she first noticed that resentment, she and her husband sat down to “daylight” those chores so they could discuss who would be in charge of what going forward.
Having a career as a parent does not have to come with mom-guilt. Maybe, like Lindsey, some of your mom-joy comes from being a strong role model for your child.
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3 Moms find their motherhood heart
This interview is the third in a 3-part series where I’m talking to 3 moms who’ve chosen different approaches to parenting. You can listen to part one here and part two here.
After listening to 3 different moms discuss 3 different choices when it comes to raising their kids, my wish for you is that you’ll be inspired by how they each listen and trust their own motherhood heart, and parent according to their own values.
How do you find your mom-joy?
I’d love to hear about your parenting values. What drives you to make the choices you make? What sacrifices do you find yourself making? What struggles do you encounter? Text me at 970-210-4480 because there’s nothing I love more than being included in the details of love at your home.
Connect with my guest
Lindsey Davis is the Director of Conservation and Advocacy at SITKA Gear. She serves on the board of directors for the Outdoor Alliance , The Conservation Alliance, and the National Wildlife Federation’s Action Fund. She is also a brand ambassador for Mystery Ranch, SITKA Gear, YETI, Swarovski Optik, Moultrie Mobile, and is a volunteer citizen scientist. Follow her on Instagram. Watch this short film about her life as a hunter.
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