Do you ever say “yes” to something even, when your body budget is in overdrawn?
We’ve all experienced these moments–for some reason or another, you overcommit even when you don’t have the capacity—and your whole day seems to spiral from there.
You get a text from someone asking to chat right in the middle of your morning routine. The conversation goes long, so as you’re rushing out the door, you snap at your partner or dodge their hug as they’re trying to offer you a loving goodbye. Then suddenly, you’re in the car asking yourself, “Why do I always do this? What’s wrong with me?”
What if instead, you responded to the text based on how you were feeling?
What if you could be honest about the energy you have…or DON’T have?
It’s not a personal flaw when you don’t have enough energy. We all have a body budget: our internal account of energy for mental, emotional, and physical tasks. When yours is overdrawn, it affects how you show up.
Today, I’m joined by a dear friend and coaching colleague, Allison Evans. Allison adds one key element to the idea of the body budget: meditation. In this episode, we examine each element of the body budget—sleep, food and water, nature, movement, and connection with others—and how meditation facilitates caring for all five. You’ll hear:
- A story that shows the contrast of how I have learned to take my body budget into account over time
- Examples of the metabolic consequences emotions have for your body
- What it looks like to experience how you feel–tired, hungry, thirsty–without telling yourself a larger, damaging story
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Why is meditation an important element of your body budget?
Meditation really is just a pause. A moment of awareness when we’re able to ask ourselves, “How is my body budget doing?”
It’s a big question. Do you give yourself permission to ask this on a regular basis?
How would your life be different if, when a text comes in, you pause and ask yourself, “Do I have energy for this text right now?”
And when you’re able to do that, you give yourself permission to finish the task you’re on and not be interrupted. Or take a pause and a deep breath before you deal with the text.
How would your relationship with your partner change if, each time there was something that tests your body budget, you paused and noticed, “Oh, I can feel the energy that’s asking of me.” Then give yourself permission to say, “I’m not sure I have it to give at this moment.”
Try this:
I invite you to use Allison’s meditative moment to notice your body budget, particularly in relation to your partner.
If your partner brings up weekend plans, try saying: “Could we pause for a moment? I’m noticing I don’t have energy for this right now. Can we talk after work, or Saturday morning when I’m fresh?”
Or, if you’d rather, your habit for this week could be to take a moment and simply name for yourself which of the five body budget elements–food and water, sleep, movement, nature, or relationships—is most volatile for you. Which element of your body budget makes the most difference when it comes to how you relate to your partner?
Connect with Allison Evans
Allison Evans is a Certified Wayfinder Master Coach with an MA in English literature from George Mason University and undergraduate degrees in English and French from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Her work has been featured in elephant journal, Thrive Global, and Pathways magazine. She lives in Omaha with the people who inspire her work: her husband, daughter, and son.
If you’d like to hear more of Allison’s wisdom, I invite you to read her blog or consider working with her.
To learn more about your body budget and how to take care of yourself, use Allison’s free guide for mood management.
Want to stop arguing and start connecting with your spouse? This FREE e-course will offer you habits to improve your marriage communication so you can smile more and fight less. Sign up to improve marriage communication.
