conflict

You don't intend to hurt your spouse. How often do you use the word "should" in your relationship? Using the word “should” is a protective move. You’re trying to protect how vulnerable you feel. But your spouse experiences the word “should” as a shove, rather than as the invitation you’re…

Keeping score pollutes your relationship How do you keep score in your relationship? Do you give yourself a tally mark when you clean the kitchen? Do you dock your spouse when they don't? Do you count the times you've had sex then wait because this time it's your spouse's turn…

Joy hides when you keep score in your relationship Resistance is a joy thief. We resist what we don’t want. Things like doing the dirty dishes or a spouse who doesn’t initiate sex. One of the best strategies for resisting these things is blame. When you blame your spouse for…