We all know that self-care is relationship-care, right?
December can be such a busy month. I recommend taking inventory of your life to see what you can let go—at least for the month. Because we expect more from ourselves with the hubbub of the holidays, but we don’t always lighten our load.
What can you take off your list of expectations…just for a month?
I’m modeling this by giving myself a break with the podcast. It turned out great because, when I went looking for archived episodes to offer you, a theme of self-care emerged.
This is the first of 3 episodes that all center around taking care of yourself.
Why is “noticing” one of the most powerful self-care tools?
If you are one of my regular clients you will often hear me say, “Good to notice.”
When you can notice—without judgment, and with lots of curiosity—you’re able to digest your behavior and thus your life.
You get to ask yourself, “Am I living according to my values?”
Stress comes to us when we aren’t living according to our values. And anxiety, worry, and depression come when we resist the truth that we aren’t living according to our values.
It’s the resistance that causes pain. Because we’re lying to ourselves. We are out of integrity.
You can change your relationship when you notice with compassion
But change is possible. Especially when you allow yourself to change slowly. And the best change happens when you are seated firmly in your parasympathetic nervous system—which is rest and digest.
That’s where noticing comes in. It’s the opposite of REACTION. When you just notice, you give yourself time to restfully digest where you’re at.
I can absolutely guarantee that noticing is NOT a quick fix. I can also—after decades of coaching people and people in relationships—guarantee it works.
This isn’t the sexiest tool in my box, but I think it’s probably the most important one to learn if you want to cultivate a life filled with intimacy, joy, and loving acceptance.
And noticing is all about YOU. Notice yourself with compassion and watch your world change.
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