139: How to Get Where You Want to Go: A Quote from Jim Rohn

Do you ever feel frustrated because you’re experiencing the same stumbling blocks you faced last year? And you thought you’d dealt with those…but here you are again. Yuck. I’m offering you a philosophy I learned from Jim Rohn.

I am a life coach. I hear this complaint over and over. We work on something, my client and I. There’s a shift. Life is good. My client feels motivation and freedom, and then, a year later: Bam. They’re back where they started.

Today, we discuss one of my favorite quotes from Jim Rohn, “Direction determines destination.”

1. We’ll talk about a fallacy that might be keeping you from feeling happy today
2. You’ll learn about what airplanes and the pilots who fly them have to do with your happiness
3. And I’ll introduce you to the word asymptote and tell you how just that idea can make you happier

Today I want to share a quote with you and the story I heard when I listened to Jim Rohn—one of the granddaddy’s of the personal development movement—offered to all of us gathered that day.

Jim Rohn’s quote is, “Direction determines destination.” And I remember him telling us that, “You can’t change your destination overnight; but you CAN change your direction. And direction is what determines your eventual destination.”

Then he told us something about a plane’s guidance system that I didn’t know.

A plane takes off from LA bound for NYC. The pilot aims that plane eastward with a bit of a northerly trajectory. But here’s the thing: the vector that plane is pointed at any one minute might be off by a degree or two.

Well, as you’re taking off from LAX, flying all the way across the country, if your vector is off by one degree, you might land as far away as Washington DC or in Portland, Maine. One degree can make a big difference when you’re traveling a long way.

So that pilot, keeps adjusting the vector of the flight: always eastward, but now a little bit more northerly, now a bit more south. Back and forth that pilot adjusts the plane’s vector: it’s direction. Over and over.

When the plane is leaving LAX the corrections might be larger, but as NYC gets closer and closer, the adjustments in direction become fine-tuned. Tiny adjustments to ensure the plane lands in the appropriate place.

Jim Rohn helps you make adjustments in your life

This is like your life. When there’s something far off you’re aiming for, like communicating better with your partner or raising a good kid, you are so far from your destination, that you might make sweeping changes back and forth in your life as you try to find your way.

To communicate better at first your only goal is speak up more often, or shut my mouth and listen with care. But over time, as you get closer to your metaphoric NYC, you can see clearer and you know more specific adjustments you want to make.

You begin to notice how your communication is polluted with dirty asks, so you focus on cleaning up the way you ask specifically and kindly for exactly what it is you want. And you encourage your partner to do the same.

When you’re just starting out parenting, you’re completely overwhelmed at the number of diapers you’re changing and the tiny amounts of sleep you’re getting. But as the years go on, and you can catch your breath, you realize that what you really want to do as a parent is to create a stellar human being, so you talk kindly and respectfully to this little human who has learned to use a toilet all on their own.

Where Jim Rohn’s metaphor of the plane falls short…

Most of the things people are chasing in my office as a life coach don’t involve arrival points.

When my clients get really close to their life goals, they can see that the destination wasn’t about arriving at a particular place, but rather, the destination served to help them find direction.

Traveling in that found direction developed their character and helped them become the person they wanted to be.

When it comes to your happily ever after, there is never an arrival point. But there are thousands of moments that shape the vector of your life. When you connect all those points, they can form an asymptote when you are honing and honing the direction you want to travel.

If you’re trying to become a better communicator with your partner, you’ll never arrive at The Finished Communicator, but you WILL notice how the flavor of any conflict with your partner has completely shifted, or you will notice the intimacy you feel when you share details from your life.

If you’re trying to become a better parent, you’ll never arrive at The Perfect Parent, but you will notice how you’ve learned to control your temper, or how you’ve learned to see your kid for precisely who they are and love them right there.

Here’s an example:

If you’re trying to become a better communicator, ask yourself these questions:

1. What’s an example of how I’ve slowed the conversation down so that I was a more complete listener?
2. What’s an example of how I took time to ponder what I truly wanted so I could communicate with clarity?
3. What’s an example of how I have honed my communication, turning previously dirty asks, into clean asks?

If you’re trying to become a better parent, ask yourself these questions:

1. What’s an example of how I speak kindly to my child?
2. What’s an example of how I listen to my child’s truest needs?
3. What’s an example of how I’m giving my child doors that open to possibilities to help my child find their biggest possible life?

When you take a moment to mentally graph the progress you’re making on your journey, you combat that natural inclination you have to give into your negativity bias.

How about you?

Of course I’d love to know about the destinations you long to reach in your life. But I’m even more interested in the directional changes you’re making to get there. Text me at 970-210-4480 and tell me how you are honing the navigation of your life. Who are you becoming on this journey to your metaphorical NYC?

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