When anyone new starts coaching with me, they want immediate results. Even if the problem they walk into my door was created over 10 years, they want me to fix it…now. Today. In a 90-minute session.
That’s not how rock-solid coaching works and I don’t even really believe that is what you want.
You don’t want a flimsy relationship that can be shifted by a fly-by-night coach offering: the latest quick-fix for your relationship. Why not? Because think how shallow the roots are on that fix. The next big wind (or your next big conflict) will blow over any shallowly-rooted-relationship.
This week, I’m offering you the framework that I use in my private coaching. It includes 4 key elements:
- Celebrate
- “Good to notice”
- Tools and invitations
- and the Takeaway.
I’ll release one episode each day that covers a part of the framework. Today, we’ll concentrate on celebration.
Make sure you check out all 4 parts of my coaching framework:
Part 1: Celebrate! | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog
Part 2: “Good to notice” | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog
Part 3: Tools and invitations | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog
Part 4: The Takeaway | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog
#1: Celebrate!
The very first thing a client reads in any note that comes from me focuses on celebrating strengths already in place.
I always start my note–and by extension my framework—with a celebration. As a coach, I like to build on strengths. There is a lot of habit research that says the best way to secure a habit is with positive emotions. Consequently, I’m not just “trying to be positive” but rather offering you an invitation to TRULY celebrate the positive things I put on this list. When you notice them and celebrate them, that anchors those behaviors as habits.
Let’s name a few things that you might want to celebrate
If you and your partner are having trouble communicating, what can you celebrate before you dive straight into the deep end of sharpening your skills?
- You could celebrate the love you have for each other that you even WANT to communicate better. That love is deep and it will inspire change.
- You could celebrate a world filled with resources to help you. There are so many people talking about better communication strategies that you have a world of support around you.
- You could (and I hope you WILL) celebrate yourself. You are, right this very moment, listening to a podcast dedicated to strengthening your relationship. Look at you go! Look how you are living your values.
I cannot stress the importance of this celebration enough. Your habits and your world view are shaped by positive emotion. When you like something, you will repeat it. That is natural. Because it feels good. We like to repeat things that feel good.
So be intentional to think about your life, your relationship, your career, your friendships in a way that asks the question:
- What’s already good about this situation?
- What strengths am I bringing to this situation?
- How am I improving in this area?
Your brain answers the questions you give it. And your brain is constantly serving up questions for you to ponder.
Do you want to coach with me?
I have open spots in my private coaching practice. That doesn’t happen very often, so I’d love to extend that invitation to you if you’ve been wanting to coach with me.
Reach out via my text number, 970-210-4480, or you can go to this page on my website. I can’t wait to get to know you.
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