The “wrong” date night can cause MORE conflict, but an effective date night bonds you. So how do you know what to choose when you’re planning your date night?
It’s important to create “dates” that nourish the complexity in your relationship.
If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know that I believe there are three roles inside your singular relationship: Partner, Friend, and Lover.
- The Partner helps you ACHIEVE and you feel bonded as teammates.
- The Friend understands you and, thus, you feel like you BELONG.
- The Lover WANTS you, and when you feel wanted, your confidence soars.
If you’d prefer to read a transcript of this episode, click here.
Design Your Date Night 3-Part Series
This episode is the first in a 3-part series to help you understand the three roles inside your singular relationship, and how each of them need just a little different type of nurturance.
Our goal today is to understand what The Partner Role needs to have a great date night that will nurture the totality of your relationship. Because when The Partner Role is nourished, you have far less conflict.
What is it that creates a great date night for The Partner Role in your relationship?
Today we discuss the power of designing a date night specifically dedicated to The Partner Role in your relationship.
- You’ll learn why, if The Partner ain’t happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy in your relationship
- You’ll learn the key skill that defines the Partner Date
- And you’ll see why the calendar is such a crucial part of The Partner Date
Subscribe to my Newsletter:
If you don’t tend to the needs of The Partner, that neglected Partner will suck all the joy out of your relationship
Consequently, I recommend feeding the date night needs of The Partner first because The Partner is all about justice and fairness. Until those needs are met, ain’t no romance headed your way.
But please don’t think dating The Partner is boring. Not at all! You’ll be shocked at how much romance is awakened when The Partner role in your relationship is satisfied.
Plan a date that allows The Partner to thrive
A dream date night (or daytime date) for The Partner is to get an onerous task accomplished so it’s no longer a burden. The Partner dreams of having a teammate to help with all the difficult tasks of adulting.
Life is filled with details that require DOING. When you have your partner next to you for some of that doing, you bond. You’re part of a TEAM and that’s more fun.
Here’s a couple suggestions that make The Partner get excited about date night:
- All those pesky banking and money apps that are a mess? Can we clean them up together and get on the same page financially?
- The garage that’s a pile of recycling and abandoned potted plants? Can we declutter and find a better system for the recycle?
- The ever-present week night conundrum: What’s for dinner? Could we decide who will cook when and find some fast, but nutritious, meals?
Date Night Discussion
The promise of this 3-part series is to help you understand the three roles inside your singular relationship, and how each of them need just a little different type of nurturance.
When you can identify a problem, The Partner date can address it. This week be strategic about the Partnership of your relationship. Discuss these 3 questions:
- What inequities do you fight about? Or what inequities are brewing?
- How could you and your partner strategize together to mitigate the unfairness?
- Identify the precise problem that’s causing strife, or has the potential to cause strife.
The power of a Partner-date
When you solve a problem that has been niggling at your partner—especially one of those adulting problems that is fraught with overwhelm—you become their savior.
I ask you, which is more likely to get you some really good sexy romance…organizing gear into boxes or commenting about the good restaurant food you never get at home?
Can you see how powerful a really well thought out Partner-date night can be?
Try this:
This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to carve out time to serve the needs of The Partner in your relationship.
The heart of your Partner-Relationship is about learning how to face the adulting moments of life together and address the perceived inequities. Consequently, we need to first notice where those troublesome spots are. All we’re doing, though is identifying the trouble spots. Don’t let your planning energy evolve into conflict.
Would you like more resources to help understand the role of The Partner in your relationship?
- Dive deeper into what happens when you’re not in sync with your partner.
- Why the question “What’s for dinner?” is often a relationship killer.
- Listen to my conversation with Allison Evans about how to stay in your own business.
Click here to read the full text of this podcast episode.
Want to stop arguing and start connecting with your spouse? This FREE e-course will offer you habits to improve your marriage communication so you can smile more and fight less. Sign up to improve marriage communication.
