Dreams. Heartache. Drama. Companionship. The Friend Role shapes your love–how will you nurture it with your date night?
If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know that I believe there are three roles inside your singular relationship: Partner, Friend, and Lover.
- The Partner helps you ACHIEVE and you feel bonded as teammates.
- The Friend understands you and, thus, you feel like you BELONG.
- The Lover WANTS you, and when you feel wanted, your confidence soars.
If you’d prefer to read a transcript of this episode, click here.
Design Your Date Night 3-Part Series
This episode is the second in a 3-part series to help you understand the three roles inside your singular relationship, and how each of them need just a little different type of nurturance.
Our goal today is to understand what The Friend Role needs to have a great date night that will nurture the totality of your relationship. Because when those three roles are balanced, your intimacy takes flight.
What is it that creates a great date night for The Friend Role in your relationship?
Today we discuss the power of designing a date night specifically dedicated to The Friend Role in your relationship.
- We’ll talk about the importance of building trust because this is what fosters Friendship
- I’ll make a comparison between yoga and loving acceptance
- And I’ll help you create a regular, repeatable date night that will nurture The Friend inside your relationship
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Listening and revealing are the core of the Friend Role
The Friend has two potent skills it brings to your relationship: the ability to listen and the ability to reveal. These skills, in balance, bring strength and resilience to your relationship as they build trust and vulnerability.
Each time you listen to a story your partner tells you, you strengthen a shared container of trust. Your partner feels validated when you receive their words with love and appreciation. Not only does this increase trust, it de-escalates conflict, because you have a deep understanding of one another.
Talking and listening are a big part of what unites you as Friends in your relationship. But there is a much bigger layer to this role: it is the tapestry of a shared life that the two of you are weaving together one thread at a time.
The power of feeling known in your relationship
You want to foster a deep and abiding Friendship with your partner because the two of you are sharing your LIFE. When you have a good and trusted friend beside you, you feel brave to meet life’s challenges. You feel known. So, you have courage to go out and learn something new about the larger world.
The Friend relaxes when a date night feels safe. The Friend reveals things in an atmosphere of gentle curiosity. Or giant spaciousness.
Some people find it really challenging to reveal those truths that invite compassion. They might even find it difficult to reveal to themselves. So an ideal date night for The Friend needs to pay attention to comfort.
Date Night Discussion
The promise of this 3-part series is to help you understand the three roles inside your singular relationship, and how each of them need just a little different type of nurturance.
This week talk about the practice of Friendship in your relationship:
- What helps you to trust?
- What fosters your trustworthiness for your partner?
Plan a date night (or day) that will keep this friendship alive
The Friend date is a purposeful place to welcome and re-welcome each of you to the relationship. It’s as important that you show up to share who you are as it is that you listen to your partner.
When you know your specific WHY for a date night—I want to understand my partner better and I want them to understand me—you’re able to design an environment that gives you the best chance at achieving that WHY.
Imagine the life you’re able to co-create together when you understand the tiny things that motivate your partner, or how you’ll be able to negotiate the small stumbles because you have shared your fears as well as your dreams.
Try this:
This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to come up with date night ideas for The Friend Role in your relationship.
I recommend designing a cozy date night that can go on repeat for The Friend role in your relationship. Routine suits The Friend well.
Click here to read the full text of this podcast episode.
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